


insatiable hunger

by b0kuto



Series: love, xx ー a letter pile [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Emotional, F/M, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love, loving your brother's girlfriend oof, this is not in your face SAD it's a throbbing ache that reminds you how hopeless love feels like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:55:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24339985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b0kuto/pseuds/b0kuto
Summary: —pt 5 of the series love, xx.❝ i fell in love with the idea that the mysterious thing you look for your whole life will eventually eat you alive. ❞— laurie anderson in a letter explaining her attraction to moby-dick═════════════════════╕the most unfair part of this tragedywas that i love you both too muchto become a villain in your story.╘═════════════════════
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu/Miya Osamu, Miya Osamu & Reader, Miya Osamu/Reader
Series: love, xx ー a letter pile [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1753975
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	insatiable hunger

**Author's Note:**

> another new format! instead of a full letter, i pieced together excerpts from various letters (in the form of images) that resonated with osamu the most. this story is not a dramatic final ending to a love story. osamu had been writing these letters for years, and he probably would continue writing them until he let her go.

“samu, have you tried on the suit yet? we only have a few more days left so if you want it tailored you should do it soon.” miya atsumu shouted from the living room as he checked off another item from the wedding planner. instead of a response, atsumu was answered by the noise of a shattering glass.

“hey! you okay?” rushing to the kitchen, atsumu checked on his brother, who was squatting down beside the sink, trying to pick up the broken shards with his bare hands. “SAMU! don’t use your hands!” but his warning was too late, blood was already dripping down from the cuts on miya osamu’s hands. “tsk, what’s wrong with you?” worried about his brother, atsumu pushed him back and cleaned up the mess himself. osamu stood in silence the entire time, almost like a lifeless puppet.

osamu ran his hands under the tap, the cold water gushing onto his open wounds. it was supposed to hurt, but osamu did not flinch at all, he did not feel anything at all.

“hey samu, if you are not well you should go get some rest. i can finish the other errands with mom and dad.” “…thanks tsumu. i may need some sleep, i think.” mumbling out an apologetic excuse, osamu went back to his room, and locked the door.

osamu could finally feel the throbbing pain shooting up from his hands. he fumbled around to pull out some bandaids from his drawer, but a pile of letters fell out instead. all the envelopes only had the recipient's name scribbled on top.

“ah…i should start calling you sister-in-law soon, right?” picking his letters up, osamu asked the hollow silence in his room. as if afraid to hurt him, the silence embraced osamu’s aching heart instead. osamu gently picked up each letter and arranged them chronologically, with the first one dating three years back, when atsumu started dating the girl who grew up with the miya twins. the girl that he thought he could have forever. the girl who chose atsumu. the girl who is going to marry his beloved brother.

in these letters, osamu was a poet, a lost boy, a beggar, a lover. he could almost recite his favorite excerpts. the scabs on his heart still itch whenever he recalls them.

and what a fool he was. he still managed to **fall in love with the mysterious thing he’s looking for his whole life, even though it will eventually eat him alive**. he still managed to fall deeper and deeper into her, knowing it would only demolish him to skin and bones.

osamu’s own words rang in his head, haunting him, driving him mad, again. but he had befriended this maddening anger long enough to know its real name was _grief_. so like every sleepless night, osamu sat in the familiar darkness and buried his grief in these letter. only this time, he had the strength to put the letters back in his drawer, and put on his groomsman suit.

“can i at least pretend that you are mine, when you become _mrs miya_?”

the reflection in osamu’s mirror shook his head. his tears fell down his chins, lost in his groomsman suit that shared the same shade of darkness as this sleepless night.


End file.
